When I was in my twenties my birthday posts were sassy. I was going out, there’d be tequila shots, costume changes, and Sunday required very large sunglasses and a handful of Advil.
In my thirties, I’d had some life experience. I’d been married (and then divorced), welcomed my beautiful daughter, Olivia, and had lived a bit of life. I had an incredible career and traveled wherever I wanted whenever I wanted.
Then I left my career, became a startup entrepreneur, homeschooled through Covid, lost a few friends and loved ones, and grew an Oracle stripe of platinum hair that only my hairstylist, Eduardo, has seen up close and personal. I’ve lived a few lifetimes worth of life (can I get a credit on my account, please?) and am fully embracing all of the iterations of self that got me to where I am today. It is calmer here. Steadier.
Over the past few days I’ve created a list of 46 life lessons to commemorate my 46th year. I am curious to see how they change in the future, but this is what I’ve taken from all of those parts of me that converge upon you now.
My 46 Life Lessons
⭐️ Wear sunscreen 🧴
⭐️ Take responsibility and apologize when you are wrong (especially to your children).
⭐️ Everyone has trauma. Understand yours.
⭐️ Everyone has trauma. Offer Grace to those who are tripping through theirs.
⭐️ The quietest one wins.
⭐️ Tax advantaged accounts are magic. Max out your 401k and take the company match.
⭐️ Debt sucks, but sometimes it’s necessary. If it gets you an education, a home or a car it’s good debt. Don’t stress over it.
⭐️ Emergency savings keeps you out of debt.
⭐️ Heartbreak never gets easier.
⭐️ Sometimes you are the toxic one. It may take a karmic lesson or two decades to realize it. Time is the great equalizer.
⭐️ Your parents did the best they could. It’s your responsibility to forgive them and heal your damn self.
⭐️ Learn what gaslighting is and don’t do it. Don’t allow anyone to do it to you.
⭐️ You will face disappointment. It will come in all forms, sizes, and even from people you love. It will hurt. Do not allow it to make you bitter. Only allow it to make you wiser and more discerning.
⭐️ True friendship is a rare gift. Treasure it, nurture it and be present within it.
⭐️ Your relationships require your presence.
⭐️ Gifts will never outweigh experiences and quality time.
⭐️ Know the sound of your own ego. Learn when to put it in check.
⭐️ No is a complete sentence.
⭐️ When you overcommit you only rob yourself.
⭐️ Jesus loves you. Even when you suck. Especially when you suck.
⭐️ Establish a prayer life.
⭐️ Self-regulation is a gift you give yourself and your relationships.
⭐️ Talk to your kids about emotions.
⭐️ Guilt and shame have no room in healthy relationships.
⭐️ You will have to do hard things and make complicated decisions. These moments are building your internal mettle. They make you wise and soften you over time.
⭐️ Sometimes you will make bad decisions and hurt people. Accept responsibility early.
⭐️ We don’t blame in this house. It makes for defensive little people.
⭐️ Not everyone is entitled to your story or emotional energy. Know who is VIP and who is General Admission.
⭐️ Manage your triggers before they steal your happiness.
⭐️ You never know how your words and deeds impact people. One day, years later, you may learn that a small interaction changed a life. Make your interactions blessings.
⭐️ Expending goodness is an investment.
⭐️ Plan your week on Sunday nights. Start with time blocking the biggest items (and things that are revenue generating), your present moments with your family, your self care, then the things that can be moved into the next week if they must. Otherwise you’ll go crazy.
⭐️ Take more naps.
⭐️ You can be kind and have beautiful boundaries. Extremes are for the unhealed.
⭐️ Take trips. Experiencing other countries and cultures provides incredible perspective.
⭐️ Eat your veggies.
⭐️ Get your bloodwork done once a year.
⭐️ Move your body. It’s the container for your soul. Treat it well.
⭐️ Find God faster. Your faithfulness will make life so much better, your relationships so much deeper and provide a peace that makes absolutely no sense.
⭐️ When you feel like you are sad or lonely, give to someone else what you are searching for in that moment. A kind word, deed, or text sent from a place of compassion and understanding will give more to you than you can imagine.
⭐️ Music is medicine.
⭐️ Pay your taxes.
⭐️ Guilt and manipulation are not strategies. Don’t put your kids in therapy because you didn’t break bad generational habits.
⭐️ Goals are nothing but words on paper without action.
⭐️` Fail faster. Better. Turn your pivots into pirouettes.
⭐️`As soon as you’re conscious – and even before your eyes open – pray.
Jeanette Schneider is the founder and CEO of Dear Liv, an award-winning app on the Apple App Store, focused on wellness for the whole individual. Jeanette relied on her decades-long career in wealth management and finance, coupled with her fascination for self development, and partnered with therapists and thought leaders to make wellness accessible to all. Jeanette teaches the financial wellness content on Dear Liv.
Jeanette has been named a Woman to Watch by Vegas, Inc., honored as a Trailblazer by The Girl Scouts of Southern Nevada, inducted into the Nevada Women’s Chamber Hall of Fame for Leadership and named a Visionary by IFAH for her work with Dear Liv. She is a published author, podcast host, and mother to the best person she knows, her daughter Olivia, 11.
You can find Jeanette on IG @ms.jeanetteschneider and @dearliv.app.