Dear Liv:
How do you balance work and family? I feel like I’m always failing someone.
So tired,
Jessica
Hi Jessica! You are not alone. This is the most commonly asked question our coaches receive. If everyone and their brother is worried they’re failing someone, let’s look at the root of the issue.
Expectations.
We want to be perfect parents, employees, lovers, friends and many times expect the same of others. When we see the perfect IG mom who has it together, we don’t also realize that after she takes that pic, she deals with a toddler meltdown and likely cries in the shower.
Expecting that we can create perfection in each of our roles is simply setting ourselves up for failure. Have you ever spent quality time with a loved one, just to apologize as you check texts or emails, your mind at work or elsewhere? We are so afraid we’re not being who we need to be, we are failing OURSELVES. If we recognize that we are all doing the very best we can each day, and reset our expectations we can drop the pressure and create some structure. Get in front of your roles instead of reacting to them.
First, how are you taking care of yourself? You come first because you can not pour from an empty cup. Think of the things you do that recharge you mentally, emotionally and physically, and schedule those in to your calendar. No excuses. These are your dates with your mental health, sis.
Next, what big projects, goals or meetings do you really need to attend to this week? Time block both the time needed to spend on them and focus only on those items during those chunks of time. This will get you to Friday feeling accomplished and allow you to do the next part with more ease.
Block time to spend with your kids and spouse where you can be fully present. Phones off. Face to face. Whether that’s dinner together, a nighttime snuggle or a date with your partner, truly be present to the connection.
In short, let’s be aware of unholy expectations, get in front of our time so that we are really focused and work toward more presence and connection. That may mean some boundaries around access to you, and that, my dear, is gold. Prioritizing yourself, your goals, your family also means we say no to those things that don’t fit into your calendar.
You’ve got this.
Xo,
LIV
