When I was in my twenties my birthday posts were sassy. I was going out, there’d be tequila shots, costume changes, and Sunday required very large sunglasses and a handful of Advil.
In my thirties, I’d had some life experience. I’d been married (and then divorced), welcomed my beautiful daughter, Olivia, and had lived a bit of life. I had an incredible career and traveled wherever I wanted whenever I wanted.
Then I left my career, became a startup entrepreneur, homeschooled through Covid, lost a few friends and loved ones, and grew an Oracle stripe of platinum hair that only my hairstylist, Eduardo, has seen up close and personal. I’ve lived a few lifetimes worth of life (can I get a credit on my account, please?) and am fully embracing all of the iterations of self that got me to where I am today. It is calmer here. Steadier.
Over the past few days I’ve created a list of 46 life lessons to commemorate my 46th year. I am curious to see how they change in the future, but this is what I’ve taken from all of those parts of me that converge upon you now.
My 46 Life Lessons
⭐️ Wear sunscreen 🧴
⭐️ Take responsibility and apologize when you are wrong (especially to your children).
⭐️ Everyone has trauma. Understand yours.
⭐️ Everyone has trauma. Offer Grace to those who are tripping through theirs.
⭐️ The quietest one wins.
⭐️ Tax advantaged accounts are magic. Max out your 401k and take the company match.
⭐️ Debt sucks, but sometimes it’s necessary. If it gets you an education, a home or a car it’s good debt. Don’t stress over it.
⭐️ Emergency savings keeps you out of debt.
⭐️ Heartbreak never gets easier.
⭐️ Sometimes you are the toxic one. It may take a karmic lesson or two decades to realize it. Time is the great equalizer.
⭐️ Your parents did the best they could. It’s your responsibility to forgive them and heal your damn self.
⭐️ Learn what gaslighting is and don’t do it. Don’t allow anyone to do it to you.
⭐️ You will face disappointment. It will come in all forms, sizes, and even from people you love. It will hurt. Do not allow it to make you bitter. Only allow it to make you wiser and more discerning.
⭐️ True friendship is a rare gift. Treasure it, nurture it and be present within it.
⭐️ Your relationships require your presence.
⭐️ Gifts will never outweigh experiences and quality time.
⭐️ Know the sound of your own ego. Learn when to put it in check.
⭐️ No is a complete sentence.
⭐️ When you overcommit you only rob yourself.
⭐️ Jesus loves you. Even when you suck. Especially when you suck.
⭐️ Establish a prayer life.
⭐️ Self-regulation is a gift you give yourself and your relationships.
⭐️ Talk to your kids about emotions.
⭐️ Guilt and shame have no room in healthy relationships.
⭐️ You will have to do hard things and make complicated decisions. These moments are building your internal mettle. They make you wise and soften you over time.
⭐️ Sometimes you will make bad decisions and hurt people. Accept responsibility early.
⭐️ We don’t blame in this house. It makes for defensive little people.
⭐️ Not everyone is entitled to your story or emotional energy. Know who is VIP and who is General Admission.
⭐️ Manage your triggers before they steal your happiness.
⭐️ You never know how your words and deeds impact people. One day, years later, you may learn that a small interaction changed a life. Make your interactions blessings.
⭐️ Expending goodness is an investment.
⭐️ Plan your week on Sunday nights. Start with time blocking the biggest items (and things that are revenue generating), your present moments with your family, your self care, then the things that can be moved into the next week if they must. Otherwise you’ll go crazy.
⭐️ Take more naps.
⭐️ You can be kind and have beautiful boundaries. Extremes are for the unhealed.
⭐️ Take trips. Experiencing other countries and cultures provides incredible perspective.
⭐️ Eat your veggies.
⭐️ Get your bloodwork done once a year.
⭐️ Move your body. It’s the container for your soul. Treat it well.
⭐️ Find God faster. Your faithfulness will make life so much better, your relationships so much deeper and provide a peace that makes absolutely no sense.
⭐️ When you feel like you are sad or lonely, give to someone else what you are searching for in that moment. A kind word, deed, or text sent from a place of compassion and understanding will give more to you than you can imagine.
⭐️ Music is medicine.
⭐️ Pay your taxes.
⭐️ Guilt and manipulation are not strategies. Don’t put your kids in therapy because you didn’t break bad generational habits.
⭐️ Goals are nothing but words on paper without action.
⭐️` Fail faster. Better. Turn your pivots into pirouettes.
⭐️`As soon as you’re conscious – and even before your eyes open – pray.
Jeanette Schneider is the founder and CEO of Dear Liv, an award-winning app on the Apple App Store, focused on wellness for the whole individual. Jeanette relied on her decades-long career in wealth management and finance, coupled with her fascination for self development, and partnered with therapists and thought leaders to make wellness accessible to all. Jeanette teaches the financial wellness content on Dear Liv.
Jeanette has been named a Woman to Watch by Vegas, Inc., honored as a Trailblazer by The Girl Scouts of Southern Nevada, inducted into the Nevada Women’s Chamber Hall of Fame for Leadership and named a Visionary by IFAH for her work with Dear Liv. She is a published author, podcast host, and mother to the best person she knows, her daughter Olivia, 11.
You can find Jeanette on IG @ms.jeanetteschneider and @dearliv.app.
Once Upon a Time I had a dream… and then I had an existential crisis.
Isn’t that the way these things go? You leave your big corporate job with the even larger paycheck to build your dream wellness company. You design a gorgeous app, are approved as an Apple Developer, and then a maddening global pandemic throws your life and your dreams into a tailspin.
You fight with the death of your identity, anxiety attacks, sleeplessness, the homeschooling of two very different children, investor decks, branding issues, turnover, the death of two pets, Covid itself, Covid hair loss, Covid heart palpitations, end up in surgery for your heart issues that were compounded by Covid, to wake up twenty pounds heavier in weight and in *stuff*… and then remember you were creating a wellness community.
And you were passionate about it.
And you knew it could change lives.
Because it already had.
I kept thinking back to the emails I received from people in the recovery community who had experienced the beta version of the app, “Your app changed my life.”
“You gave me a language I didn’t have before.”
“I feel hopeful.”
I knew I had to put all the stuff that hadn’t worked, that was the kindling of a fledgling startup, into a trash can like I was breaking up with a toxic ex-boyfriend and light that shit on fire. From that ash came the most beautiful phoenix.
Right as I was giving up, giving in, wishing I could move to Iceland, I was invited to build my beautiful wellness company under the gentle (and valuable) guidance of the UNLV Incubator powered by Howard Hughes (and sponsored by Blackstone’s Launchpad – la ti da).
God didn’t put this on my heart for so long and with such passion and resolve for it to turn to dust.
Welcome to Dear Liv.
She’s like your best friend who knows things and wants you to come along for the ride, but is super nurturing and always has the best advice. She’s already gone through the self help journey, and she’s that kind of evolved that is super humble, really down to earth and funny.
More than anything she stewards a community of individuals who really want to live better, healthier lives.
How does she work?
As you interact through the Dear Liv app, answer assessments and we learn more about you, Dear Liv finds the contact, connection, or best friend who can provide the best advice based on your core needs and supported by the pillars of wellness (emotional, financial, social, physical, environmental, occupational, intellectual and spiritual).
Yes, we have off-the-shelf content, but what you will notice is that over time – as we see how you interact with us and answer questions – you’ll receive content in your feed that is curated for what you are going through, value most in your life… or need the most help with as you begin a intimately curated wellness journey. You’ll be invited to the lunch table (Zoom calls) based on focus areas, as well as web and live events.
We aren’t creating content in a vacuum. We are creating a community based on what you need and who can best help you.
Our content is INCREDIBLE. Our wellness advisors and contributors have decades of hands-on experience in their fields and desire nothing more than to leave the world a little better than they found it. With that said, app development is expensive and we are trying to iterate and build newer and better as quickly as we can. Your positive reviews, word of mouth and feedback will get us there faster. If there’s something you don’t understand, feedback about functionality and how we can make the app better, email me directly at [email protected].
We are on Apple right now and as soon as we can make the move to Android we will. Promise.
We also have a super fun podcast so that I can nerd out with experts sitting at the intersection of science and spirituality.
I hope you love this community as much as we’ve loved building it. We have announcements coming soon about audio content to help you relax and sleep better, multiple live and web events in the works, and honestly… I just can’t wait to meet you. Thanks for your faith in this very spunky (hard headed) female-founded (and led) startup.
Founder & CEO